Helping Kids Express Emotions: The Path to Resilience

As parents, we want our children to be happy, confident, and emotionally strong. But what happens when they’re overwhelmed with big feelings—anger, frustration, sadness? Many of us were raised to “calm down,” “move on,” or “stop crying,” yet we now know that true resilience isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about learning how to move through them.

Why Emotional Expression Builds Resilience

Resilience doesn’t mean children avoid difficult emotions. It means they have the tools to feel, express, and recover from them. When kids learn to name and process their emotions, they develop emotional intelligence—the foundation for healthy relationships, self-confidence, and problem-solving.

One of the biggest emotional patterns in children is the Cycle of Frustration—moving from mad to sad. Anger often acts as a shield, covering deeper emotions like disappointment, fear, or hurt. Instead of reacting to a child’s outburst with discipline or dismissal, parents can take a compassionate approach and ask, “I see you’re really mad. What else are you feeling?”

How Parents Can Support Emotional Growth

Here are some simple ways to help kids express their emotions and build resilience:

Validate Before Solving – Instead of saying “You’re fine” or “It’s not a big deal,” try: “I see that this is really upsetting for you.” Kids need to feel heard before they can move on.

Co-Regulate Before Expecting Self-Regulation – A dysregulated child can’t calm down alone. Be their anchor by staying calm and offering comfort.

Name It to Tame It – Help kids label their emotions: “It looks like you’re feeling disappointed.” Naming emotions reduces their intensity.

Encourage Emotional Expression Through Play – Younger children often express emotions better through storytelling, drawing, or movement.

Model Healthy Emotional Expression – Kids learn from us! If we say, “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath,” they learn to do the same.

The next time your child is struggling with big emotions, remember: Your calm is their guide. The more we create a safe space for kids to express feelings, the more resilient and emotionally intelligent they will become.

Want to Learn More?

Join my workshop, "Raising Emotionally Resilient Kids: Supporting Children Through Big Feelings," on March 27th at noon PST. You'll gain practical tools to help your child express emotions, navigate frustration, and build resilience.

Katie Mae VasicekMarch 1, 2025